


the dragonflies passing by

by hundredblossoms



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Mutual Pining, so much pining, until episode 9 at least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 17:01:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14085516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hundredblossoms/pseuds/hundredblossoms
Summary: wang ziyi always walked behind cai xukun these days, if he could.





	the dragonflies passing by

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [路过蜻蜓](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/366198) by 爱吃蔬菜. 



> if you can, please support the author on lofter by liking their post. also, this is a quite liberal translation, so if you find errors please feel free to inform me. thank you<3

01

wang ziyi always walked behind cai xukun these days, if he could.

and he always maintained a deliberate distance of three footsteps between them. three steps, a distance that's neither too near nor too far, one that was just enough for him to covertly stare at the back of the other boy's head.

whenever it was, his gaze always ended up focusing on the head of bleached hair bobbing in front of him, as soft and fluffy as a cloud.

if there was any chance it were to gently bloom on his outstretched palms one day, how would it feel like? ziyi couldn't think of an answer to that question.

on a snowy winter day, walking on the exact path he had just treaded on, ziyi breathed in the slightly chilly air, and exhaled. he executed this task with the same meticulousness as he did everything else, despite the fact that he was admittedly harboring a little bit of an ulterior motive.

exhale, inhale, exhale.

hopefully, there would be a few moments when he was breathing the same air with the boy walking in front of him.

wang ziyi liked to walk behind cai xukun. if he walked beside him, he couldn’t stare at him as long as he wanted; if he walked in front of him, xukun would be out of his sight, and he would have to worry that the other boy would see through his disguise from behind, that he would be as good as naked in front of him.

ziyi looked at the cloud floating three steps ahead, and sighed softly -- this winter had gone on for too long.

 

02

cai xukun felt like wang ziyi wasn’t interested in him at all.

their conversations were mostly initiated by xukun; ziyi almost never seemed to start one. it was always xukun asks, ziyi answers.

“are you tired?” “i’m okay.”

“wanna grab dinner together?” “sure.”

“what do you wanna eat?” “whatever.”

his voice was always calm, like an ocean without waves. sometimes xukun would have the illusion that they've known each other for years; he could easily guess what ziyi would answer his question with, and with what kind of tone, and he was quite proud of it. ziyi’s every single word and action was always within his expectations, right to the last letter. and it so happened that he was the kind of person who liked to know anything and everything completely, before sitting down leisurely and watch all of it unfold perfectly from the summit, exactly as he predicted.

he disliked accidents, and even surprises.

conversely, he liked everything to be in his control, and liked everything to be within his expectations.

he liked the ever predictable wang ziyi.

 

03

but ziyi wasn’t in his control.

when the water bottle pointed towards ziyi after it had came to a halt, xukun felt that this, naturally, would turn out as he expected.

they had been on stage together for the previous two times, so of course they would be together once more.

look, even god wants us to be, xukun thought.

even if this was only the result of a game of probability, he had secretly felt proud, immediately holding out his right hand to ziyi the next second, for he wanted to be the first person to embrace him and tell him with a smile on his face that they’re together once more.

“one more time.”

it was that infuriatingly calm voice again.

everyone present had frozen in shock, including xukun himself.

when the bottle was spinned once again, he had swiftly gone over the possible reasons of ziyi making this decision in his mind, but every one he thought of seemed to be lacking of reason somehow. this was a game of survival; staying here would undoubtedly be the most advantageous solution for ziyi.

also, i’m here, aren’t i.

he suddenly thought of the moment after dinner a few days ago, when he was heading back to the training room. someone had shown him an old video, of wang ziyi and his bbt group members practicing together. it was as if xukun had seen a completely different person from the one he had known; that other person was as lively and vibrant as a elementary schooler that had just won a game, and as aggressively adorable.

while he was exclaiming over this unexpected side of ziyi’s personality, his heart had sank to rock bottom. he looked at the ziyi in the video, and suddenly doubted that ziyi’s relationship with him was as calm and unchanging as a waveless ocean only because he wasn’t as comfortable with him as it was with his groupmates, not because of some innate mutual understanding between them.

and now he realized that he was right. at this moment he had to confess that wang ziyi wasn’t as predictable as he had thought he was.

i’m here, isn’t this reason good enough?

probably not. he answered his own question in a haze.

by the time he came back to his senses, he was clasping his hands together devoutly in the direction of the bottle. apparently it didn’t hear his prayers, choosing to point towards the other candidate instead.

maybe god doesn’t really want them to be together forever, after all. feeling disappointed, he raised his gaze towards ziyi.

the latter still had his serene face on. at that moment, xukun was overcome with an urge to toss stone after stone into this pool of placidity with all his might, see when one would smash on somewhere too close to home.

maybe ziyi doesn’t want to be in the same group with him.

when this sentence popped out in his mind, he was also taken aback by it. he had initially thought that ziyi liked to hang out with him. it was only now that he suddenly came to the realization that maybe ziyi never obediently orbited in the path of his expectations. he had gleefully assumed that all was what he expected it to be, that he had seen through everything, when their paths had only crossed for so little time. he couldn’t even say that ziyi had veered out of orbit, not when it never was like that, not when he had only discovered the truth seconds ago --

turns out he didn’t really understand ziyi. turns out they weren’t really that close.

yes, it was all as it should be. they had only known each other for a few months, after all; it was all the frequent interactions that were the inevitable side effects of cohabitation, that gave him this illusion.

he had confidently assumed that he understood ziyi well enough, even if ziyi didn’t reciprocate the sentiment. he could see the loneliness consuming the boy chasing his dreams, could see the never-receding waves of ambitiousness obscured by his self-built wall of gentleness, could see the unique attractiveness radiating off him that he was prey to.

xukun had hated relying on anyone, had got used to charging in battle alone, but he had felt strangely comfortable when he was beside ziyi. this feeling of comfort had of course brought love, and something else called dependence along when it came to him. ziyi had that something in him that made xukun feel calm within seconds. this, ziyi himself definitely didn’t know of.

it was because of this that he was certain that he was the person that understood ziyi the most in the world, even more so than him himself.

he had also known that ziyi treated him different from other people. when ziyi smiled at him, he had even felt like a queen indulged by her king. he was certain that ziyi liked him, but didn’t like him like that. he also believed that ziyi didn’t know of his feelings for him, and that ziyi’s understanding of him didn’t even amount to a hundredth of the reverse.

it was only on this day that he realized that he was wrong. it seemed that he wasn’t the person that understood ziyi the most. he had treaded on thin air and fell, and ziyi didn’t catch him. nobody did.

wang ziyi.... what was he like as a person?

xukun wanted to cry a little.

 

04

again, ziyi couldn’t sleep. he was exhausted, yes, but still.

it was because when he closed his eyes all he saw was the fluffy cloud floating in front of him, and then it would be xukun’s eyes, filled to the brim with confusion.

so hot. it was still the beginning of spring, when there were still vestiges of the chill of winter, but he still felt extremely warm.

the two of them not being in the same group meant that the time they spent together was cut by a notch, but he would still put some time aside to think of xukun. he thought that he had caught a flicker of hurt in xukun’s confused gaze that day, but it probably could be because he was madly pining after him.

he was already so preoccupied with him even when they were separated, what would happen if they were group mates? while thinking of an answer, he put on a shirt haphazardly and got off his bed.

he had originally planned to have a moment to himself, but then the first thing his gaze fell upon when he opened the door to the stairwell was that pair of eyes that had occupied his mind thousands of times that day, clearly filled with hurt.

ziyi had long got used to having thousands and thousands of eyes on him when he was on stage. the idol in him knew that he shouldn’t shy from another person’s gaze, but when he met xukun’s eyes he felt like he was looking down into the abyss high up a cliff; another second and he would gladly jump from the edge without reservation.

“...looking for me?” ziyi felt his throat clench tight.

xukun kept silent.

“why didn’t you sleep?”

“you didn’t too, did you?”

“...couldn’t sleep.” ziyi paused for a moment, “now i’m thinking of sleep. and of you.” this time it was real. although he sounded like he was joking.

“prat.” what did you mean by that, i was even thinking of sleeping with you, you don’t say. xukun thought.

he stopped in his tracks. “what if… i tried, only this once?” he asked himself.

you could say that he was doing this out of impulse, or that he was planning this for decades. either way, he had wanted to know what ziyi’s achilles’ heel would be since early on, what it was that would make him thoroughly lose his composure, throw away his air of calmness, like if a stone was skipped in a pool of stagnant water.

he wanted to be that person who skipped that stone.

“then imma sleep with you.” he pushed ziyi lightly before quickly darting into the room and onto ziyi’s bed.

ziyi silently followed in his steps, unwilling to admit defeat. he didn’t know what xukun meant by that; what he knew was that he could not let xukun get a glimpse of what it was that he wanted. pining meant secrecy(1). two boys sleeping under the same blanket wasn’t anything out of the ordinary -- he was certain that he had the self-control to keep it exactly that. he was also secretly glad that he didn’t talk in his dreams, hence not having to fear of accidentally divulging all his heartsick musings while sound asleep. he mentally decided to add another skill to his resume (expertise on the subject of pining) after the sun rose.

the bed felt slightly cramped, what with two 180 cm tall young men sleeping on it, so the two of them unanimously decided to turn their faces toward each other.

it was not as cramped as they made it seem, actually, but they had wanted to do that. wanted to be nearer to the person lying beside them. nearer, nearer.

xukun and ziyi lay face to face, both of them falling silent, preoccupied with their thoughts.

it’s really hot in here, ziyi thought. this time he was really breathing in the same air as him. the air suffused with his body warmth, the air that had passed through both of them.

in the dark, xukun’s eyes shined bright, glistening wetly. his hair, soft and silky, perched on ziyi’s pillow. would his scent leave his mark there after dawn came? ziyi’s mind wandered without aim, while his internal alarm blared insistently, him realizing too late that he had overestimated his self-control.

xukun had not spoken up at all since then, and ziyi felt like a criminal under interrogation, unable to move or turn away from his gentle gaze. what should i do? should i gouge my heart out for you to see? aside from my heart i have nothing else that could be proof of my feelings for you.

“sleep, sleep.” ziyi chose to close his eyes instead.

he didn’t expect xukun to kiss him a second after. his tender lips, glinting crimson in the dark, moved closer to outline ziyi’s, wet lips leaving a sweet aftertaste behind. the tip of his tongue, feverish in this spring night, made ziyi accidentally let out a whimper. taking advantage of his momentary weakness, xukun bit on his lips without hesitation, hands locking behind his neck. he then licked his mouth open, wet tongue fearlessly exploring every nook and cranny of ziyi’s mouth.

ziyi felt his brain snap with a bang. he couldn’t tell if it was the sound of his walls crumbling, or the sound of fireworks exploding in his head, but he knew that he had seen beams of white light. he reminisced of the first time he had met xukun. he had been certain that xukun would be the brightest star in the universe, too blindingly brilliant for the eyes of mortals. he had forgotten that he himself, too, was nothing but a mere mortal.

“ziyi……”

xukun was still licking on his tongue insistently, like a cat thirstily lapping its bowl of water, his whimpers as sticky as caramel sounding in wang ziyi’s ears. xukun was in the verge of tears yet again, a thin layer of condensation collecting into tear after tear, which were starting to fall from the corners of his eyes.

ziyi sighed, cursing himself for taking advantage of him so easily, and reached out.

 

05

wang ziyi’s scent came sweeping over him, wave after wave.

he held xukun by the waist in one swift motion, while his other hand snaked into his shirt and rubbed on his back slowly. his actions were done so gently and slowly, xukun suddenly remembered seeing ziyi’s fans a few days ago, holding banners saying ‘wang ziyi, don’t be a buddha (2)’. he could really use some of these banners right now.

xukun was slightly annoyed by the thought, so he bit on ziyi’s lips harder, and sucked on them. their tongues tangled with each other, lust-induced sounds echoing in the room. it was as if ziyi had heard his prayers; he answered by pressing xukun’s body onto his, and flipped them over by levering his left hand on the edge of the bed.

ziyi started to take off his clothes, while xukun followed suit after huffing out a laugh. spring nights were always humid, the air around them sticky and cloying with sweetness. after ziyi had put their clothes in a pile beside the bed, he reached down to lick on xukun’s adam’s apple, puffing damp hot breaths on the juncture between xukun’s chin and neck. xukun shivered lightly, and tilted his head up inadvertently in between pants. ziyi raised his eyes to level a glance at him, only to continue peppering kisses all the way down, until he reached one of his nipples, which he proceeded to suck on. xukun trembled at the sensation, his hands sliding down to embrace ziyi’s head.

ziyi settled his hands on xukun’s waist, and hoisted him up gently. xukun felt as limp and malleable as a pile of mud, completely at the mercy of the other man.

the wang ziyi in front of him now bore absolutely no resemblance to that word. what a pity that only him, and him alone could witness with his own eyes the other side of this buddha statue, one that’s burning from the desire raging inside him. he even had the urge to flaunt this laughingly to ziyi’s fans, and say to them, look, you don’t know anything at all.

while he was lost in his thoughts, ziyi had tore his loose pants off with decisive yet gentle motions, and manhandled him so that he was sitting on his lap. xukun smiled at him yet again when his legs came round to wrap at wang ziyi’s waist, lips red and swollen, wet and shiny from the kisses they had exchanged.

ziyi felt himself blush at the lion cub’s gaze, and averted his eyes hurriedly, but the way his fingers were quick in pulling xukun’s briefs aside was an honest exhibit of his desire. ziyi then grasped his erect penis experimentally, fully enclosing it in his palm.

“it's you that’s holding my lifeline in your hands, why are you behaving like a defenceless victim instead?” xukun thought, as his arms came around to wrap ziyi's shoulders tightly. at the meantime, he thrusted his hips into ziyi's palm a few times, and perched his full lips beside his ear.

“ziyi…”

ziyi felt as if thousands of roses had blossomed in his chest, the blond’s plea a key that opened up the flow of hot blood towards his gut. red-eyed with rapture, he jerked xukun’s dick off with repeated strokes, eliciting intermittent pants and moans of desire from the blond, that got him increasingly turned on by the second.

precome started dripping from the head, contributing to an image that made ziyi’s mind run wild. ziyi dropped kisses all the way down, his tongue peeking out to lick him clean. xukun was already in the verge of collapsing from the sensation, even before he felt a surge of warmth completely swallowing him in. aggressively yet gently, ziyi swirled his tongue over the head, and puckered his cheeks, engulfing the entire shaft, as if he wanted to uncover every inch of his body’s secrets.

a sharp jolt of ecstasy shot up xukun’s spine. he felt like a butterfly trapped by a web; he couldn’t run away, so asphyxiated by the overwhelming waves of pleasure, that he feared that he would die. in his haze, he absently registered that ziyi was opening his butt cheeks up with his hand, middle finger prodding on his hole, pressing on the soft flesh. his other hand caught up promptly, kneading his backside, fingertips wandering in the crevice between his asscheeks from time to time.

the simultaneous onslaughts of bliss propelled him to orgasm, spilling all his seed in ziyi’s mouth. even with the salty aftertaste, he still felt sweet as honey to ziyi, so he swallowed all of it down without any ado, and swept up the rest meticulously. xukun was trembling minutely, gasping like a fish out of water, face burning up like fire. tears streamed uncontrollably down from the corners of his eyes. he felt like he had fell straight into ziyi's lap after being flung high up into the sky, a thin layer of sweat coating his skin from the aftershocks.

“ah, don't cry.” ziyi raised his hand and dried his tears timidly, a guilty expression on his face akin to one on a kid caught making mischief by a teacher. even though they had reached this state of intimacy, ziyi looked as gentle and serene as ever, but only with an added undercurrent of honest and gentle desire lurking within. it was only now that xukun realized that purity and desire, two seemingly opposite ideas, could perfectly coexist on a person.

only with a glance at ziyi’s face, xukun felt himself melt down with adoration; he wanted to give him the entire world, wanted to give himself to him.

he turned his head sideways, reassuring ziyi that he was okay, and arched his back. he opened himself with one hand, and grasped ziyi's length with the other, directing it towards his desired direction.

ziyi was reminded of many things when he looked at xukun -- something like ripe summer peaches and melted candy, maybe -- that only served as fuel to his fire.

he pulled xukun up into a sitting position, and thrusted in. the soft flesh immediately engulfed him in an almost unbearably tight heat. he rocked his hips, so gently as if he was scared of shattering xukun like glass, until his length was fully submerged in. when the other didn’t respond to his entrance, he was unexplainably aggravated. he tightened his hold on xukun's waist and started thrusting heavily, ramming in without consideration, until xukun was forcedly stretched to the brim. every single thrust brought ziyi tumultuous pleasure.

xukun cried out blindly, doubly overwhelmed with pleasure and an almost equivalent amount of pain. as if he was motivated by his cries, ziyi continued with his ministrations, hitting the deep end time after time. rendered helpless, xukun could only move in tandem with him, tears ceaselessly slipping down his cheeks.

06

 

the morning came, and brought with it sobriety and silence. the two of them were both awake by then.

xukun buried his face in ziyi’s neck, not bothering to move.

ziyi sometimes saw xukun as someone completely out of his league, but at times the other boy also felt like home. these conflicting feelings of strangeness and familiarity had combined together to produce something akin to reverence. he’s the brightest star in the universe, yet he was lying in the same bed as him, the place where they had made love. oddly, this made him feel as if he had desecrated a divine being.

the two of them didn't intend to break the silence, until when ziyi started hoarsely, “it's nine in the morning, shouldn't we go to the practice room?”

xukun tilted his head up, his unfocused gaze gentle. he looked at ziyi and agreed, but he didn't move to get up from the bed. this bed was an utopian lonely island; when they got off, they would have to advance into the land of reality. somehow, the two of them both unanimously knew that if one of them got off, everything wouldn't be the same. they weren't in a relationship after all; they hadn't exchanged any i-love-yous, or even confessed their feelings for each other.

xukun was waiting for ziyi to confess first, while ziyi assumed that what happened the night before was only xukun looking for the person he was closest with to satisfy his carnal urges.

“don’t look too much into it, why would he happen to like you too?” ziyi reminded himself. he hadn’t even considered the possibility of it being true; he couldn’t imagine how a person that xukun would inadvertently fall in love with would be like; he felt that there weren’t anyone in the world that truly deserved xukun, even if all of them would be much better suited than he’ll ever be.

“i won’t say a word.” ziyi said, out of the blue. xukun looked up at him, before burying his face in ziyi’s neck again, the tips of his hair barely brushing ziyi’s chin.

ziyi couldn’t help but inhale in the scent of xukun’s hair, unsurprisingly detecting nothing that resembled his at all.

when xukun looked up and met ziyi’s gaze, he had wanted to ask if ziyi liked him, but he eventually didn’t. he felt that if someone had to personally pop the question to get the answer, then it would most probably be a no. compared to a direct rebuttal, he preferred to keep it safe. if he didn’t ask the question, he wouldn’t get his heart broken. 

love is hard. he added this to his mental list of inconsequential things, and made up his mind.

“wake up, wake up.” xukun’s voice was still sticky from sleep. he then smiled up at ziyi, jumped off the island, and didn’t look back.

**Author's Note:**

> t/n  
> 1) original sentence "暗恋最重要的就是暗" literally means "the most important thing in pining (暗恋) is the dark (暗)"  
> 2) original "王子异，别再佛了" comes from chinese internet slang 佛系, which describes someone as being kind and benevolent like the buddha.


End file.
